Headlines coming to life(Sort of) (Genre Shorties week 140)

Prompt: Greetings! (Yes, I missed last week: did you notice?)

There is a list of great bad headlines here.

http://littlecalamity.tripod.com/Text/Newspaper.html

Among them are the classics:

Eye Drops off Shelf
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Woman Improving After Fatal Crash

What I'd like you to do is choose one of the headlines on that page, or one of the above, and write up to 100 words which would make that headline ACCURATE.

I'm hoping someone will explain how the tree found the painting, or where the eye went after it dropped off the shelf.

Your story may be serious or lighthearted or as silly as you like so long as it is 100 or fewer words.

Post your stories to Genre Shorties.

 

I placed my glass eye on the grocery shelf to scratch a bad itch. When it dropped to the floor, people screamed and I left.

On my way home, I saw red tape attached the bridge.

I used my daughter’s Cheerleading squad to bake my cookies. They began rhyming so my dog Victim bit the ringleader.

My hubby, tall as a tree, found a painting outside our door. He called the police citing suspicious powder on the frame.

Our crazy woman neighbor (nicknamed Crash) improved on our quiche recipe thereby saving it from becoming a fatal mess.

(97 words)